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Pamela7030
Moderator
800 Posts |
 Posted - 08/30/2009 : 10:40:17 AM
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Please forgive me for taking so long to get back to you. The site is slow. Tim and I don’t get many questions anymore, so I was very surprised to see yours.
I guess I need some more details. Is your loved one still using???? I have many friends who have been in an out of recovery and are fighting just to stay clean one day at a time. There isn’t much that you can do, unfortunately, your loved one must really, really want this......... No one can force someone else to do something that they just don’t want to do. It is really hard watching them do this to themselves. I remember all the things that I put my family through and it breaks my heart when I think back on it. If I could take it all back, which I can’t, I would. All I can do now is be the best person that I can and live the best way that I can. What I can suggest for you is to stop enabling your loved one. Stop giving them money, a place to live, anything that helps them to continue to use. Tell them that you love them and will support them in their recovery, but you will no longer watch them destroy their life. Remember that addiction is a DISEASE, but THEY are responsible for THEIR recovery. It takes hitting bottom, before an addict will turn to recovery. If your loved one has already had a taste of recovery, the rooms, etc., he/she knows where to find the help. They don’t need yours!!!!! Like I said, I really need more information.
I would like to suggest to you, that you find an Alanon/Alateen meeting as soon as possible. There you will be with other family members who are going though the same things you are going through. There you will learn how to live with or without us addicts. Even though Alanon may only talk about Alcoholics, the results on the families are very close, if not the same. I'm sure there are other family members of addicts in those rooms too. Go anyways, it will help you a whole lot!!!!! I promise.... I'm not sure if there is a group for families of Addicts. Maybe someone else, can help me out here......
Please let us know how you and your family are doing.
Sincerely,
Pam
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
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